WAHM – What Do We Think We’re Doing It For?
By Jan Ferrante
Work at Home Moms walk a fine line.
Without great, concentrated effort, the boundaries between work and home responsbilities and more importantly… priorities… can become fuzzy. The fallout comes down ironically upon the things that we wished to protect – our time with our children and family.
How many times have you rushed dinner, or ordered out?
How many times have your kids come home to find the back of your head staring intently at your computer screen, with a do not disturb sign as plain to see as if it had been cut and paste there yourself.
How many times have you told your child that you will play, get snacks, attend to him or her after your “important work” is finished?
I’m not trying to lay a guilt trip here, I’ve done them all.
Sometimes it will be necessary, and it is a good thing for your kids to learn that you have needs and that your time and energy has boundaries.
But is it a habit? Is it the norm?
That’s when you may want to look for some answers. A few small changes can make all of the difference.
You CAN work at home without becoming a piece of furniture that the kids hang their coats on when they come in!
Jan Ferrante is a WAHM who has makes the daily choice between living with KAOS or the freedom of using systems, routines and habits to manage it all . Organization, time management and productivity have become the key to less stress, a happier family and a growing business.
You can do it too. Visit Jan at http://www.queenofkaos.com
© Bio photo courtesy of Jan Ferrante.
© Guest Post Button Image courtesy of Yvonne Russell at Grow Your Writing Business.com
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7 opinions for WAHM – What Do We Think We’re Doing It For?
Debbie Yost
May 28, 2008 at 4:05 am
It is a difficult line. I often feel guilty that I cannot go running to the pool or let them do certain activities. But then I remind myself that if I was working out of the home they would be stuck at the school till 5:30 or in daycare (nothing against either of these programs) but at least they are home. I often find if I just take the 15 minutes to give them attention instead of telling them to wait until I finish something that I can get back to work faster and finish it in peace. Of course, I forget more times than not and tell them to wait.
Yvonne Russell
May 28, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Hi Debbie
It’s all about priorities, isn’t it… and compromises. We all eventually find what best works for each of us.
Thanks for joining in the conversation, Debbie.
And Jan… thanks for a great article to get us thinking.
Mary Emma Allen
May 28, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Thanks, Jan, for guest posting about this topic that all WAHMs have to face. You have a good point, Debbie. Even when we’re deeply involved in a project and can’t give the children attention at the moment, they’re in home surroundings.
As Yvonne says, all of us have to face different situations and find the solution that works for us and our family. Even as a grandmother, with two generations living with me, I find I have to juggle at home work and family. Does that make me a WAHG? Fortunately my hubby is a good cook and doesn’t mind cooking meals when I’m straight out with deadlines.
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Jan - queenofkaos
Jul 16, 2008 at 6:35 am
Very thoughtful and interesting comments.
I find that one of the best things that I can do, and often only takes moments is to be sure to make eye contact. No yelling over the shoulder etc, just look them in the eye and say what needs to be said.
Sometimes it is the mere act of acknowledging their presence that sooths the savage beast :0)
Also, especially for older kids who are coming and going, I stop for a minute or two, unless I am on a roll, and listen or make it a point… agai to acknowledge them… say hi, how was… what’s going on… etc
It usually takes only minutes and over time makes a monumental difference in a child’s feeling of worth within the family.
I don’t have grandkids but I do sometimes feel like the older generation of WAHM’s, how about GWAHM :0) Although I like WAHG!
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